Terms of Service

dontlai.com is an entertainment product: a chat interface to an AI character with a deliberately sarcastic, insulting, dark-humor persona. Everything the AI says — including anything framed as "advice" — is satire and entertainment, not professional advice of any kind (not legal, financial, medical, psychological, or business advice).

You must be at least 18 years old, given the mature and intentionally offensive content style.

No account or login is required. We track your free-message allowance and purchases via an anonymous browser session token. Losing your session means losing access unless you restore it using the email associated with a purchase, where offered.

Current one-time offers (subject to change): a tip jar of your choice; unlocking unlimited chat past the free allowance for a one-time fee; a "Trap a Friend" link for a one-time fee; a "Founder Teardown" written audit for a one-time fee. Prices shown at time of purchase, inclusive of applicable taxes unless stated otherwise. Payments processed by Stripe; we don't store full card details. While the Service is in test/staging mode, a banner indicates no real payments are taken — removed once live payments are enabled.

We pledge 20% of the net amount (after refunds) of every "Buy me a pint" tip to charity. This is tracked and published tip-by-tip, with running totals per currency, in real time at dontlai.com/charity.

Separately, we pledge 1.5% of our total revenue across all products to climate-focused causes. This figure is calculated periodically from our own Stripe revenue reports rather than shown on a live public dashboard.

Both are voluntary policy commitments we intend to honor on an ongoing basis. They are operating policies, not per-transaction escrow arrangements — payouts to the receiving organizations are made periodically rather than instantly upon each purchase.

These are digital products delivered immediately on payment. Under EU/UK consumer law you generally have a 14-day right to withdraw from a distance purchase of digital content — but this right does not apply once performance has begun, provided you expressly consented to immediate delivery and acknowledged you thereby lose your right of withdrawal. By completing checkout, you give that consent and acknowledgment. Purchases are generally non-refundable once delivered. If something goes wrong on our end, contact whatnow@dontlai.com.

You agree not to:

• >use the Service to seriously harass, defame, threaten, or endanger a real person;
• >submit sensitive personal data about yourself or anyone else;
• >submit content about a third party without a good-faith belief they'd find it funny, not harmful;
• >use the Service unlawfully or to build a competing product by scraping/reverse- engineering it;
• >abuse or circumvent the free-tier limits, payment system, or security.

We may suspend or block access for violations.

Responses are generated by an AI system role-playing a cynical, insulting persona for comedic effect. Outputs may be inaccurate, unfair, offensive, or wrong by design. Nothing the AI says reflects the actual opinion of the Service's operators about you or anyone else.

By submitting content you grant us a license to process it to operate the Service (including sending it to our AI provider) and generate the output you're paying for. If you submit info about a third party, you warrant you have the right to and agree to indemnify us against claims arising from your submission.

The Service's design, branding, and software are ours. AI-generated text produced for you personally is yours to share and use, including on social media.

The Service is provided "as is" and "as available," without warranties of any kind.

To the maximum extent permitted by law, we are not liable for indirect, incidental, or consequential damages, or for AI-generated output content. Total liability for any claim is limited to the amount you paid us in the 3 months before the claim arose.

We may suspend or terminate access at any time, particularly for violations of Section 7.

Governed by the laws of Italy. EU consumers may bring a claim in their country of residence, and can use the EU Online Dispute Resolution platform at ec.europa.eu/consumers/odr.

We may update these Terms; continued use after changes means acceptance.

whatnow@dontlai.com